aLL YOu NeeD Is LoVe

Day 19 (1/19)

My night of rest was not as restful as I had hoped. I was up and running to the toilet a couple of times through the night:( Man, I thought I was done with this crap…literally! This was not how I wanted to spend my day taking in the most profound profession of love but we were on a schedule with our train tickets and I was not gong to miss out on it! So I sucked it up (my friend Carrie at school would be so proud!), took some more damn Imodium and started praying to the toilet gods!

Since we had been spending so much time and doing almost everything together, Brenden and I decided to give each other the gift of having our own experience of the Taj so I was on my own for the day. I had heard from many how beautiful the sunrise was to witness at the Taj Mahal and thought I had gotten up early enough to get there in time for it, but as I was walking in the direction that the owner of the guesthouse had so kindly sent me I was slowly but surly surrounded by light. I found the main road and began to follow the signs pointing the way when all of a sudden I look to my right and there's a camel, just walkin down the street! I had no idea they used camels here in Agra for…transportation?!?! 

Soon after my first camel encounter I was ushered towards the left through a parking lot and into a building where you have to purchase your ticket first, and then received a free bootle of water and some sort of white cloth wrapped in plastic, but I couldn't figure out what it is was for and they just kept insisting that  I take it. So I headed back outside where I met a very kind man that offered to give me a tour of the Taj. He was registered with the government and had a set price printed on his badge, and I decided to spend the first part of my day with him. He informed me that there was a free bus that would take me the rest of the way and that he would meet me over there. As I entered the bus it was already pretty much full, and as I began to search for a seat I realized the entire bus was full of a group of young Indian college boys that were all suddenly offering me a seat!  I don't think I have ever seen so many giant smiles surrounding me at once…as soon as I sat down I had about 20 of them and each one was trying to ask me his own question. It was quite overwhelming, but in a totally awesome way:) They first asked me my name and once I told them they all repeated after me…"Suuusssiiee!" Then where I was from…"Ammmericaaa!" Then they asked…"You are a single?" My reply being yes, and then they all, in unison, began to sing to me the song "Lonely" by Akon! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EEW-9NDM5k In that moment I forgot about every other single thing going on and stepped into the present. Those boys, probably without even knowing it, lifted my spirits and gave me this strength that was somehow light hearted and fun. They reminded me how good it feels to just let go, and in the same moment to embrace and fully experience life for what it is. They helped me to remember what life is. Love. They encouraged me to realize that I could still be aware while accepting, and experience the love that spirit had to offer me so far from my home. And there it was, the Heart of India once again:) As they finished there song they asked me to sing something for them…"Um, I don't sing" I said shyly. They encouraged me until I gave in. I tried to chant for them but they wanted an American song so I sang part of "American Girl" by Tom Petty:)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XsufDwXu4w Then one boy asked me "What is your secret?" I looked at him a bit confused and he said "To your beauty!" They asked me my profession and when I told them I was a yoga teacher they all said "Yoga!" and closed their eyes and began pranayama (breathing practice) :) I have to say that this was the best bus ride I have ever experienced! Not because all eyes were on me but because of the many life lessons I was reminded of, most importantly…to keep it simple :) When we arrived to the Taj they let me get off the bus first and then they all waved and said goodbye. As I was standing in line for security I began to wish I would have gotten all those boys singing to me on video, and then I remembered that if I would have been worried about taping it I would have missed out on the opportunity to actually experience the moment. I will always have the memory, I can assure you of that, and I was fortunate enough to see them later by the Taj and was able to get a group photo with some of them.

My experience of the Taj was so absolutely wonderful, and I soon found out what that little package of white cloth was…booties! You had to either take your shoes off or cover your dirty shoes in order to walk up around and into the Taj Mahal, they may not be the cutest things in the world but I was thankful to not have to worry about my shoes!

 My tour guide, Manaj Kumar was so knowledgeable, spoke very good English, and was a very good photographer, as you will soon witness. He knew all the good spots to capture certain angles and a few fun photo tricks as well (or can I really jump that high?!). He was so sweet at the end of the tour telling me to be very careful traveling on my own and that if I found myself in any sort of trouble to please call him and he would be happy to help. He had a very fatherly energy about him and I accepted his kind gesture with a smile and a hand shake. 

Jump Shot!

LoVe iS aLL yOu NeeD!

Taj reflected on my sunglasses:)

the beautiful craftsmanship of over 20,000 workers, the strength of  over 1,000 elephants to carry the marble and other stones, taking more than 20 years to complete!

Real precious stones carved an inlaid perfectly!

sweet memories:)

Indian women and kids that wanted a photo

Now I was really on my own to just take it all in. My stomach was not feeling all that great but luckily the Imodium was doing its job and I was thankful for that. I took some time to just walk around, finding places here and there to sit and watch, absorb and embrace. Im really not sure what time it was when my tour ended but I felt like I could sit there all day and just stare at this almost unreal symbol of love. Seriously, if I wasn't there myself I wouldn't believe that I was actually there myself…I know that makes no sense at all but its making me laugh right now and hope its doing the same for you! Ok, so maybe it's more like if I wasn't there myself I might think the pictures of me there were totally photoshopped to make it look like I was there! Like most of you, I have seen many many pictures of the Taj, and I personally never really took the time to imagine what it would be like to actually see it. To actually experience it's beauty with my own senses. As I sit here writing about that day more than a month ago I can take myself back there in an instant, yet its still difficult to find the words to explain what it was like, obviously! 

I suppose as I sat there and admired this beautiful symbol of the love that a man had for a woman there were moments that I wondered if I would ever experience something so profound, and then I realized that one may never know if another has loved them so deeply, but one could cultivate that depth of a love for oneself. Again, I have returned to my personal mantra from last year that has overflowed into next…SelfLove. Everything begins with intention, and as most of you know one of my favorite teachings from Ghandi is to "Be the Change You Want to See in the World". If I want to see love in the world, experience love in this life, or even the next, I have to love myself because that is where it all begins. So as I sat there, I shifted my thoughts from wonder of the future, to cultivating in the present. I reconnected with the creation of love for MySelf and allowed, and continue to encourage that seed of SelfLove to grow, everyday, towards the sunshine of my soul.

Sometime in the late afternoon I decided to head back to the guesthouse. I got a little lost but wasn't too far off track and soon found myself back in the company of Brenden. We decided to have some lunch and then do some more sight seeing together. I was trying to figure out what to eat with my stomach acting so crazy and asked the owner of the guesthouse if he had any suggestions. He instantly sent a boy to go get me some Ayurvedic Medicine that helps to clean out the digestive track. At this point I was willing to try anything and agreed to put some on curd (yogurt), when the boy returned with it I had to giggle a little bit because it was pysllium husk! This is so funny because my sister, brother in law and myself have used this when we do a body cleans. It sort of looks like saw dust with just about the same amount of flavor. The first time I used I didn't know that it absorbs moisture very quickly, we were adding it to a glass of water and drinking it down) I took too long to finally choke it down and by the time I drank it, it felt like cold oatmeal going down my throat! So I was sure to eat my curd very quickly knowing that it would become thick and most likely very hard to choke down! The view of the Taj from our rooftop sure was nice though:)

Once we finished eating our tuk tuk driver swept us away on a nice little tour of some other sites to see around town. I am still not sure who was buried at the next mausolium but there were many and it was beautiful. Very peaceful to just walk around and enjoy some nice fresh air.

One of the many tombs inside the many rooms!

Pickin up some tricks from the tour guide:)

Our driver took us to a beautiful garden behind the Taj Mahal for sunset...all the bushes and flowers were planted in perfect little rows which caused me to think of Alice and Wonderland and sing "We're painting the roses red, painting the roses red!" Unfortunately we didn't get to stay very long because they were closing soon after we arrived, but we did get the gaurd to take some photos of us...and then of course he wanted some rupees for doing it, which I refused!

Another beautiful sunset!

a little shack with some cows and a garden...you can see the pile of dried dung(cow poop) they use to heat the stove to cook with and warm their living space!

We stopped for a quick dinner so we could make it to the Light Show at Agra Fort. It wasn't as impressive as we had imagined but it was cool because it told the story of the fort, about the kings and queens, and how it had become the state that it was, and is still known to be. We both wished we could have seen the fort in the daylight, but it was cool to walk around the small part of it we got to see in the dark! Our time in Agra was coming to an end, we would be on another train tomorrow at 4:20 headed for Jaipur so we went back to our room, watched some videos on YouTube (we actually had a good connection that would download!) until we fell asleep knowing we could sleep in and rest our tired bodies.

On our way to Agra!

Day 18 (1/18)

I had such a wonderful night of sleep and when I awoke I felt so much better…my body finally felt rested, it was like I could feel the color back in my face. I had packed up the night before so I got ready and headed down for some breakfast. We went to a place not far from the guesthouse and it felt so good to eat some food! I had some scrambled eggs, a croissant with homemade jam, a lassie and some tea. I didn't want to over do it but I just could't help it…although I didn't finish it all! I really enjoyed watching the daily life of those that lived there. This was the cleanest place we had been so far, they even sweep the dirt! And I just can't get enough of the push carts full of fresh whole food!

We met up with Phon at 830 to head back to the train station and along the way we had to wait at a railroad crossing for a train to pass…of course I thought of my train loving nephew Ryker but took the opportunity to get a picture taken with Phon. He was such a wonderful guide, so knowledgable about the history and happenings of his town and village and so understanding of me not feeling well. I really wish I could have spent the day with him in my normal condition…I feel like I could have really learned a lot more and gotten a better sense of the way of life there if I didn't feel like I was going to "loose it" at every moment. It was nice to have some time to talk with him while we waited to cross the tracks and got to continue our conversation once we got to the station…our train was switching tracks so it wasn't on our platform yet. Phon was very interested in looking in my India travel book to see what it said about his town, and I really enjoyed being able to have a more interactive dialogue with him if just for a short time. I will for sure be spending some more time in this cozy little town on my next trip to India and can only hope that I will have another opportunity to see Phon. Once our train was ready he walked us to the gate, I gave him a big hug and wished him well. Our goodbyes continued as I walked toward the train, it almost felt like I was saying goodbye to an old friend.

Phon and I

Next train car!

This was by far the least amount of stress we had experienced at a train station and I began to soften into the ways of travel. It was as if I was becoming seasoned. If you could imagine with me for a moment…that when I started this journey to India I was pot of water, and with each step, each experience, challenge, or accomplishment, with each day all the ingredients for a good soup stalk were, one by one, added to the pot. The sauteed minced onions and garlic, the carrots and potatoes, celery and peppers of every color, simmering slowly, soon adding spices and other vegetables depending on the taste. Salt and pepper, balsamic vinegar, allowing it to cook slowly and taking the time to really taste it, experiencing all of its ingredients individually, but also  together as they begin to blend into each other, marinating and creating a taste they couldn't have if they stayed where ever they came from, but also being able to stand on their own. Each experience I have had so far could absolutely stand on its own, but with each one together it becomes a grander experience, the experience of not just India, but of myself in India. And not just India's impact on me, but mine on her.

We were on our way to Agra, the home of the famous Taj Mahal, and I was far behind on my blog so I decided to focus on that for the duration of the journey. I had finally figured out (you know me and computers!) that I could be typing my blog in a document and then when I do find a good connection to the internet I would just have to copy, paste, and download pictures! So I was really hoping to get caught up to speed but soon had the opportunity to add a few more spices to my soup. It has always been a challenge for me to avoid a good conversation with…anyone! And thanks to David, from London, I had one all the way to Agra:) I really wish I would have gotten a picture with David but we were so involved in each others stories I missed out on the chance. He was a very colorful character, Im guessing in his late 50's, with so many wonderful stories to share! He was a film director and had traveled all of the world. I honestly wish I had a recording of our time talking so I could more easily remember it all. He had this crazy white hair sort of sticking up everywhere and wore bright orange glasses. Although we arrived to Agra 1 hour late I never would have known and we wished each other a good journey as we exited the train.

Once again my love for conversation helped to ease some of the stress of the "transition" from one city to the next…I had talked to the owner of the guesthouse in Khajuraho and he just happened to have a friend in Agra with a guesthouse within walking distance of the Taj Mahal AND an auto rickshaw driver that would pick us up from the train station! See, now this is what I love most about staying in guesthouses apposed to hotels…you are given the opportunity to actually get to know the people, and then you end up on this sweet journey of loving people that are honest, helpful, and are just plain awesome! And sure enough, once we got out of the station I saw a sign with my name on it and we were off to the Pyrenees Home Stay. As soon as we arrived my backpack was taken up to our room and even though it was quite late they offered to cook us dinner. I have to say that this was one of my favorite guesthouses so far. From the moment we arrived I felt like I was invited into their home. The kitchen was up on the rooftop along with some table and chairs. They turned on the decretive lights and even made a fire because it was so cold. The food was made to order, but to be honest I didn't feel like I was "ordering" my food…it was more like I was just hanging out deciding what I wanted to eat, as if I was at a friends house. Rajeev made us the best veg pakora I have had yet with a spicy sauce, veg kofta (meatless balls in a yummy sauce) and butter naan (bread). 

While he was cooking our feast I noticed a big production happening down below in what is usually a big empty lot. Large red tents had been erected, there were many tables and chairs, as well as an area that had a bunch of chairs lined up in rows as if for some kind of ceremony. Then I noticed off to the side a lot of motion…it was a "kitchen"! There were many very large pots and lots of people bustling around…a couple of people were rolling some sort of dough into balls and throwing them into a big pile which I assumed would soon be some sort of bread. I soon figured out they were catering…a muslim wedding! It was quite fun to watch everything coming together for the big celebration:) Rajeev began to tell me a little bit about the traditions of a muslim wedding. It was like 9pm and they were just preparing everything…he said that it is very common for weddings to be held that late at night, the guests all arrive first and eat, very casually but in a more formal setting. Then as people finish eating everyone begins to gather around the entrance to the tent where the ceremony is held. It was quite a commotion! Not quiet like all the weddings i have been too. As the bride and groom arrive everyone meets them at the entrance, lots of pictures, flower petals being thrown into the air, and very load music, mainly live hand drums are played, and everyone began to jump around and dance and sing and hoot and holler! As the bride and groom walked towards the front of the tent down the aisle everyone stayed right around them, following them in a rhythmic jumping movement. It was very interesting to witness. Rajeev said if I wanted I could go down and join in the celebration, that they love it when foreigners come to their weddings even if they don't know them! Man o man I wanted to crash that muslim wedding so bad but I was so tired and we were going to the Taj for sunrise in the morning so I regretfully declined.

Can't help but think of my family's love of catering!

I was grateful when Rajeev offered to make me some hot milk tea (chai), and deeply enjoyed it as I warmed my bones next to the fire and embraced the cool air as I breathed it into my lungs. Tomorrow I would be seeing the Taj Mahal with my own eyes, witnessing, for myself, maybe the the most profound profession and symbol of love. It was very hard for me to even imagine what it might feel like to be there, standing in front probably the most famous monument in the world! Well, as I often say, only time will tell.

Erotic Temples of Khajaraho

Day 17 (1/17)

2:15am I am thankfully, but rudely awakened by a gurgling in my tummy that had me instantly searching for my toilet paper knowing the train's toilet would have none. Being completely out of it with this sudden sense of urgency I am forced out of my top bunk fumbling for my shoes as I quickly make my way to the bathroom hoping it is vacant. I know it "could always be worse" although in that moment I didn't believe it could. My gratitude for the strength my yoga practice has given me continues to show up…in very unexpected places! Not only was I able to stay with my breath, allowing the hair of my nose to filter the toxic air in one of the worst restrooms I have encountered yet, but i was also able to somehow hover above the dirty toilet on the quickly moving train as I experienced the most terrible diarrhea I have ever had. 

With only 3 hours of sleep I was up and down 3 times scrambling back and forth praying for Khajaraho to arrive sooner than later. Feeling as though it would never end I decided to take some Imodium and hope that would get me through to the hotel. I laid down once again to try and get some rest when I was suddenly awoken by my sweet Korean friend~"Susie! Susie! It is time to wake up! We are almost there, you have to get up!" He was so cute and sweet it was impossible for me to express my frustration with being awoken after I had just finally dozed off. Feeling very weak and faint I peeled myself up and gathered the few things I had unpacked to make my bed more comfortable and patiently awaited the arrival of the station. Of course the train was behind on time and I began to wonder if the tuk tuk driver would still be waiting for us and how long I would have to manage before we would reach the hotel. I believe we arrived close to an hour late but thankfully our very energetic driver was there to meet us at the gate:) He was a young man dressed in jeans and a thermal wearing tennis shoes and kindly showed us to his auto rickshaw. The ride was very bumpy, with all of the dirt roads needing major repairs, I was trying to listen to the sound of my breath to stay calm until I was within reach of toilet. We finally made it to our room and again I was running to the bathroom not understanding how there could possibly be anything left in my system to release! Feeling so nauseas and weak, I changed out of my dirty train clothes and laid down to get some sleep. Im pretty sure I passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow and slept until about 9am.

 Khajaraho is known as the place where the Kama Sutras were discovered and  our driver from the train station would be showing us to the Western Temples that display these erotic acts at 930 where we would be left to explore on our own. Even though I felt worse than I had in a very long time, I pretty much forced myself to keep going, knowing we only had one day here I was not going to miss out on these erotic temples. In hopes of settling my tummy I got a Sprite and a banana, and then we were somehow swept into a shop for some green tea. As we sat down I began to have flashbacks of New Delhi and the man selling the rugs and refused to get up and look around. Finally we all finished our tea and we walked over to the first group of temples. We opted to get the audio earphones that would explain all of the amazing details carved into the stone. I found the audio guide to be very interesting but it was very hard for me to stay focused on it because I was so sick. But I continued to push myself on. I tried to make the best of it, but I assure you it was a major struggle, the beauty of it all is really what kept me going. It was just so amazing to me, how these temples that had been built so very long ago could still hold so much power. I couldn't stop staring at the architecture and attention paid to detail. I really wish I could have spent more time in a healthy condition exploring the temples and listening to all the stories behind the mind-blowing ancient art. It seemed to me there was so much to learn…about not only all of these erotic acts happening in the carvings, but also about the Gods and Goddess that were found amongst the many different expressions of beings. I suppose this gives me a good reason to visit again! After quite some time I was spent and ready to throw in the towel for awhile. I needed to rest my body and try to eat some food. We found a nice spot on the grass and I ate another banana and then laid down under the warm sunshine feeling the cool breeze as i drifted off to sleep. I have no idea how long we laid there but it was exactly what I needed. My stomach was still not good but I felt a little refreshed after resting and we headed to eat some lunch which was pretty much impossible for me to do. I drank a lassie and tried to eat some noodles but was having to gag them down so I soon gave up. At this point I should have went back to my bed and slept some more but I insisted on seeing the other temples that were scattered around town. Unfortunately they were all about the same, or so it seemed to me in my hazy mind. Looking back on it, I would have been satisfied with just seeing the first set, and should have been listening to my body. Lesson learned.

ooooh lala!

Dancing Ganesh!

There's a lot going on here!

So cool.

Inside...

Shiva's lingam:)

Namaste!

I absolutely love the decorated feet of Indian woman:)

It was also some time around now that the battery in my camera died and I hadn't even thought about charging the back up in all the madness of this unexpected illness. So I am very sorry to say that I do not have any pictures of the beautiful village that our guide/tuk tuk driver walked us through next. This was the village that he lived in, grew up in. This was the first place in India that we had seen that was not covered in trash. It was so clean, and peaceful, the way I had imagined a village to be. He shared many stories and the different ways of the village. There were many children running around that were all very excited to see us. One boy shyly asked me if I had a pen…at first I didn't think I heard him clearly but I did…all he wanted was a pen, for school. I couldn't resist and without even a second thought I handed him the only pen I had in my bag with the request that he share it with his brother. They were both so grateful and received it with giant smiles and an excitement that sent chills through my body. This is something that really stuck with me as I think about all of the things that children (including myself) actually cry for until they get. We also got to tour the school, which was really neat to see. It was so simple. Cushions on the floor, no desks, and some of the classrooms even had chalkboards:) Phon (our guide) then invited us into his home and up to the rooftop for some chai he made for us in his kitchen. It was lovely to get a view from up above as the sun began to set. While he was doing a few things around the house we sat on his couch, which was on the front porch and he shared some pictures of his with us before we left to see a traditional dance put on by some of the locals. The dance was so very cool…its hard to find the words to explain it and again…no pictures:( The costumes were so beautiful, men and women alike, the music also captured my attention with the live drums on the side of the stage. All of the performers stayed with the rhythm of the music and seemed to tell a story through their movements and expressions. At one point the women were dancing while balancing large water jugs on their heads, while at another time the men built amazing pyramids out of their bodies and did crazy flips and tricks. By the end of it all I was happy to have seen it but was so ready for bed! Phon agreed to take us to the station in the morning to catch our train to Agra, we thanked him for such a beautiful day and the best tour we had so far and said goodnight.